Okay. let me give you some explanation what's happening with my blog. I'm encountering problems. Please bare with me. Ha ha! lyyy. And I'll update and link soon. Kay? I'm so so so sorry for the inconvinience.

Loves, Han.

Holiday.

Tomorrow, I'm going for shopping. New dress. New stuff. I needed to distress myself badly. I'm going holiday with my family and relatives at Port Dickson, KL by plane. Shit. My last plane ride was 4 years ago, dude. I'm so glaaaad! I miss the food! Okay, I just came back from swimming. I guess I got tanned again. Phyr likes my tan skin, whenever I come back from swimming every Sunday. Lol. It's a routine.

Oh, & by the way.. SINGAPORE IDOL AUDITIONS:)

Singapore Idol™ AuditionsWhen: Saturday, 6th June 09Where: The Cathay (2 Handy Road - opposite Dhoby Ghaut MRT)What Time: 8a.m. (Be early so that you get to the auditions faster!)

• 
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  You must be in line by 8a.m. at the Audition Venue. Registration for the Auditions closes at 6p.m.
• You must register online, then print out the online application form and bring the signed application form (photo included) with you on the day of Registration -- 6 June to the Registration Venue. You must also bring your letter of Confirmation with your reference number on it.
• You MUST bring along a piece of ID that includes a Recent photo. The information provided in the Application Form should correspond with the information provided in the ID. For Singapore citizens please bring along your NRIC. For non-Singapore citizens (including Singapore PR), please bring along your passport.
• Auditions are NOT by appointment, you must come by 8a.m and join the Official Queue.
• Auditions will be first-come, first-seen. It is up to you to decide when to arrive at the auditions. Please anticipate long queues
• Please remember that the audition process may take up to several hours, so please plan accordingly. Do ensure that you have a hearty breakfast before queuing at the venue, and come prepared for an audition process lasting several hours.
• If you are under 21 years of age as of the date of registration, please ensure that you bring along a letter of approval from a parent or guardian with their signatures. You are allowed to bring a parent or guardian with you, but they will only be allowed into the Reception & Registration Areas, depending on the day's turnout.
• For those over 21, guests will be permitted based on the day's turnout. No guests - family or friends-are allowed into the audition room with you.
• PLEASE COME DRESSED TO IMPRESS, but remember NOT to wear clothes with visible logos, trademarks or offensive language.
• Be prepared to sing two songs of your choice a cappella (without music), one of which must be in English. You will be required to sing a verse and a chorus, but it is good to know the entire song. You must provide the titles of the songs, and the original artistes (singers) to the person judging your performance.

And so, I'm planning to sing Tell Mary by Meg and Dia and Foolish Heart by filipino singer, Nina.

30th.

I was so not myself yesterday. It wasn't hani. It was somebody else in me. Without the help of Fitri, Micah and Normil. I'm dead by now. So, I thank you, lovies. I suffered in boredom and frustration and depression last night. It was tough. Some kind of evil in you, sort of. Carmen lent me her MARKED book. Thank you, love. I tried started reading it yesterday,but, guess what? Like I didn't understand a single sentence at all. It was like reading roman letters. Lol, I didn't know anxiety and depression could kill you slowly and indirectly. Ha ha! But, I'm definitly fine now. No more swearing and emptiness. Fit and Norms, lovely people. sorry, I didn't reply your last message. I fell asleep. yea. Happy Saturday to you, who's curently reading my blog.:)

HAPPY 1.9 monthsarry, theart.:)

*friends who are not linked yet. sorry, will link you guys very soon. Esp, My Mariel baby, Deanna, Normil and Ken. Loveyouverymuch.

Tell Mary.

After the first touch. Her skirt boring. Her voice deep and charming at first. You could make her come back once in a while. If you painted a fresco. There she'd be with her powder half falling off. So perfect from far. Meet me at the pictures Mary. Adam said that he was leaving. Meet me. Meet Me.

Reality.

I did badly for all my subjects. But, what else can I do? It's done, it's over and it's time to move on. I studied, but, I still failed. Maybe, it's not enough. But, whenever I needed some help. I just didn't know whom and where to turn to. I've got no support from anyone. Except for my friends. But, how far can your friends motivate you? I need a genuine and a real help from stupid racist teachers in Fajar Secondary School. And not some discouragement, humilation and favouritism talks that they brag about in class always. *Lousy teachers produces lousy students. Especially, my advisor. He's no help. He just literally asks me question about how I was doing with my Maths. And, that was it. He's done with his job.

I wanted to meet Mr. Kanan and tell him about my progress. I knew he was the only one who was able to help me. Not even my parents can help me with this. When I was crying silently in the canteen due to my poor result. All the people who knew me, turned their heads on me. Some, were real concern. I was surrounded by the most special people in my life. My girlfriends. It was really embarassing. I ignored some of my schoolmates concern by not replying to them. I'm sincerely sorry. I was speechless and shocked with my poor grades. I know that I should look forward for my O' level instead fussing and holding grudges about this. My friends and classmates and fellow schoolmates are really lucky to have their MT. It helps them so much to get a good solid L1R4. Nope, I don't regret dropping my French. It's tougher. You guys were learning your own language and hearing it since birth. What about me? I don't think French would help me. I wasn't a french woman. I didn't live in France. I didn't have a french boyfriend. What I was studying during French classes and twice a week tuition for French is not enough for me to get it done during O' level. Plus, I just started learning it when I was 14. So, don't ever dare to question me about it. And, don't ever look down on me. Pity and mercy.

I hate my dad's country. People are bias.

Han.

A bloody guy aka Nappieboy.

I'm sad today and tomorrow and it seems like everyday. I've got temporary happiness I'm regaining everytime I see my girlfriends, but that's it. Even my personal rship is doing me havoc. I just want to breakdown and cry.

There'll always be those kind of people, who loves nothing but to see you miserable and broken.

It is just so rude to be talking about someone else's virginty. Right? and that retarded couple who were trying to ruin my name are actually doing that to me. I am not a slut. I learn with Christian beliefs that there's no sex before marriage. Well, he aka Nappieboy posted it on that Atiqah's tagboard blabbing about my hymen being broken and bloody. Fuck you. You're a hundred fifty degree pervert. If his really that brave, why don't he expose his full name? I'm gonna find out soon.

PS: Sorry, about being too open-minded. I'm pissed.

NIGHT.

It's been 3 days and still pissed with Atiqah 'cuz she's been screwing up my life, constantly. And I'm not the type of person who handle her emotions and anger very well. So, I have to confront that immature. She's really hundred degree annoying 'cuz firstly, she's acting as if she did nothing wrong to me. I mean, I truly know that she's selfish and immature but I don't understand myself either. Why can't I just be patient enough to tolerate her? Instead, I still choose to ride along with her joke-kind-of-life. It's really childish and funny the way she hold grudges about the mum of my theart's cellphone number. Why is she possessively so proud having it? LOL. Okay, fine. If she didn't give it, when I urgently need it. That was totally fine. But, she started posting about it on her blog. I truly bet that she needs a special attention. Could you believe it, she serves this issue as a piece of entertainment. What's worst, she make it exaggerated. She added up some stories here and there. I bet that's her ideal fairytale. Maybe, she's mad 'cuz I'm being honest? I mean, So what if I said she's plum? She's really A PLUM LADY. Why does she takes it soooo deep? I mean, I'm skinny. Call me, thin. Why would I wanna care so much? I'd rather reply "Yeah, I need to gain more wait". I'm the type of person who says what she sees and feels. As what I said I'm not good at being two-faced. You know, fake. A plastic. Maybe, she's really a spoilt brat 'cuz she is the only child. Maybe.. Just maybe, that's her reason for her being cry-baby and having truckloads of people dislinking her.

Yeah, I feel relieved now. I don't really get tired talking. {laughs}
Kay, bye.

Loves, Han.

Anything but Ordinary.

I didn't went to school today due to the MT Mock exams. I mean, I must actually attend school. Today, I wasted most of my day. I woke up late, I ate a lot, I went to surf the net and came to check my tumblr, then, I played psp, I text a lot, I went back to surf again and chatted with Suriah and Ninie. Then, tumblr and I should thank Suriah for this pretty blog skin. :) MUA! I thought when I woke up this morning, I would revise and study my work and projects. But, I didn't. I kept procrastinating. Tomorrow, would always be a better day to study. Again. Over and over again. I would tell myself. I just feel like banging my head using a pillow. Lol. Pillow?!?Yea, pillow. So as not to hurt myself. Rofl.



Well, about my mid year results. My grades really flopped. I failed with my history and social studies too, which I've been passing constantly with flying colours ever since sec. 2. And, my result in Pure Geography, (which I always pass since sec.3) honestly speaking, I studied hard with it, but, I still failed by few marks. It's really that bad, okay. :( As usual, Maths and Physics will be the same. Nothing changes. Thankfully, I passed F&N and English. That's it.:( Because of frustrations, I had to text Marcia and Mariel. I had to relieve my disappointment. Or else, I'll vent my anger to this particular creature that has been irritating me over a long period of time. You already have a clue, who you are.

I really hate it when I'm wasting my time and I'm not even doing anything about it. sighs*