EVERYTHING'S CHANGING.

2009-11-18T01:29:00.000-08:00

And boredom is killing me TODAY and I cancelled my plans with friends. Bulshhh... Because of *.

2009-11-13T05:38:00.000-08:00

No, I don't love so much my life I'm leading right now. I miss the old times. Sorry for not updating. Everything's just screwing up nowadays. It's not that I aldready had let it go, but it came to the point that I barely care. It merely bothers me. The pain, it's still my most favourite pain.

2009-09-12T21:13:00.000-07:00

SEVENTEEN!

Today, I'm so gonna have fun! And thank you to all the people who greeted me and are planning to greet me lol. Believe it or not, I really feel so extra special today than last year. My uncle bought me a cake yesterday and I'm not allowed to see it until later this evening. I love cakes, fyi. I woke up this morning with 5 text messages and 3 missed calls on my phone. 4 of them wishing me and one of it, as usual, you should know it. I would really appreciate it if he would just shut up and let me live my life. A person only realises his mistakes when you are already nowhere near him, nowhere in his sight anymore. Only when he realised everything what you had been wanting him to realise when you were with him.

Well, drop the subject, I should not brag about all that crap. I've been recieving loads of phone calls at home and my cellphone. Heee. Thank you for remembering me, from the bottom of my little heart, I just want to thank you all the people who made me, made my life worthwhile and if I mention you guys now, I'm afraid that there'll be no space to type. There's just so many of you who believes, loves and cares for me. However, I also believed that there are number of people who wants nothing but to see me break down and empty. And yea, I'm talking about you. Whoever hater you are, frankly, find some happy life and piss off. PISS! Hehe.

Uncle woke me up at 8am. First one to greet me at the day, but, I recieved messages during exactly midnight too. Many many hugs.

I don't need gifts, lovies . Your warm words, full of sincerity, are the most important gift I can ever recieve on this day. Many many hugs.

2009-09-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

Thank you to all my friends, and I'm talking about real friends, because no matter how stupid I had been, they're always there for me.

Mariel and I wanted to go clubbing so badly, but only finding out a little later that it only opens every friday for our age. ;S Were like so disappointed. Augh.

BUT,,

I had so much good time last night. In fact, yesterday! I met Mariel, Leandro at Yishun mrt at about 4.15. Did and talked so much of silly things. Leandro was so effing hillarious. I wonder when was the last time I laughed so hard. We went to Arab Street cuz Mariel wanted to check the vintage clothes. But, so far, we ended up window shopping instead. And of course we were there til 6.25. At around 7pm, we met Danial and Amirul. They broke their fast with us at Seoul Garden. Ohmygod, Mariel was so clumsy that everything she touches, she drops. Same with Papa Danial luh lol. They're so compatible and in fact tmr's their 2nd anniversary! She's having dinner with Dan's family tmr. Awww;) Danial and Leandro ate a lot, oh and Mariel too. But Amirul and I didn't cuz we were both having a headache. Darn. Both of us didn't even eat a plate of food. Twas like we wasted our cash. lol. Leandro was the meat guy, full of proteins and muscles. :) lmfao. They camwhored. We camwhored cuz Danial brought along his beloved camera. Hee, left there at 9.15. Hugged mariel and kissed goodbye to everyone. Except Amirul and I took the same route. So he sent me home instead. I mean, not home, just at BP lol.

ADVANCE HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO ME on Sunday and HAPYY 18th BIRTHDAY TO LOVELY MARNIAH. I miss you na, babae!

Sorry Howard.

I'm not really interested with relationships now. I'm sorry for lying, I'm not attached. Byebye~

2009-09-07T00:51:00.000-07:00

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful Stop me and steal my breath And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the skyNever revealing their depth
And tell me that we belong together Dress it up with the trappings of love I’ll be captivated, I’ll hang from your lipsInstead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
And I’ll be your cryin’ shoulder I’ll be love’s suicide I’ll be better when I’m olderI’ll be the greatest fan of your life
And rain falls angry on the tin roofAs we lie awake in my bedYou’re my survival, you’re my living proofMy love is alive and not dead
So tell me that we belong togetherDress it up with the trappings of loveI’ll be captivated, I’ll hang from your lipsInstead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
And I’ll be your cryin’ shoulder I’ll be love’s suicideI’ll be better when I’m olderI’ll be the greatest fan of your life
And I’ve dropped out, I’ve burned upI fought my way back from the deadI’ve tuned in, I’ve turned onRemembered the things that you said
And I’ll be your your cryin’ shoulderI’ll be love’s suicideI’ll be better when I’m olderI’ll be the greatest fan of your-
I’ll be your cryin’ shoulder I’ll be love’s suicideI’ll be better when I’m olderI’ll be the greatest fan of your life
The greatest fan of your whole life

2009-09-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

2009-09-06T21:04:00.000-07:00

Two days back, I spent the day with my beloved girlfriend, Fitri. I was actually suppose to meet Mariel, but I didn't cuz she thought I was with a guy named Fitri lol. Then, we talked on the phone, we were like laughing so hard, that she misinterpreted things, haha. & omg, Fitri dragged me to walk from Fajar Sec. to lot 1. Damn that lady. But, however, I really enjoyed things with her. She toured me about her childhood past. lol. and told me beautiful stories about her life even though my leg really hurts. I'm really thankful to have her cuz she's always been there with me through my tough times. We left fajar at 1.05 and reached lot 1 at 2pm. Well, she's so possesive about ID photo. lol. I never knew that! luaghs* Well, Mariel love, I'm so so sorry if I made you think she's a guy in any way. Haha, i miss you, hoping to see you on Thursday with the rest! Mwaaahugs. That day itself, I did a lot of texting with my friends to keep myself occupied from a _ _ _ _ _ _ _. First and foremost, I'm so so glad that Rizal finally patched up with his Sheena. I'm so so thankful, cuz I don't want the lady to think of something more about us when he's like my French mate and buddy sice secondary two lol. I mean I admit, he had liked me but never courted me. I already made things so clear to him and i'm so happy that he understands that. Phew, so please, enjoy your relationship. Enjoy Poly life and leave me alone. My peace. hah, and BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the love of my life, Kristel for turning m18. and to AMIRUL for turning 16! And advance to lovely MARNIAH, ME and MALINI. HEEEE, I'm so tuning older now, 17.:) Best~

Yes, it's painful.

2009-09-02T05:51:00.000-07:00

Dahil mahal, mahal na mahal kita, gagawin ko ang lahat pangako mo lang di ako iiwan. Dahil mahal.. Mahal na mahal kita.

http://teensplus.pinoybigbrother.com/

2009-08-29T23:15:00.000-07:00

I have intention of joining Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition. I'm so waiting for the audition, that's gotta be next year.

2009-08-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

&%$# November,

2009-08-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

I'm so really really excited for November, once I'm so bloody free from head to toe. Lmfao. There's so much upcoming plans. & & My Aunt Cherry & her bf, the youngest sis of my mum is coming over to Singapore for a vacation, so yeah, she's ditching California on November, heeeheee, byebye. Lmfao.

Aside from all this, I'm so confused about everything. My birthday is coming, finally turning 17. I really need to start growing up and be more responsible, like my Dad always wanted me to be. It's time to stop acting like a spoil-brat. Time to start owning up all my mistakes. Time to thank all the people who went through with me during tough times. I love you, all!.

My wish on 13th September; I want to be more open minded about people's comments, perspectives and views.

& Yeah, most of the time, I really am still stressed about all the school works and assignments. First and foremost, Prelim is on it's way, whilst, O level is drawing near too. I just need to endure but at the same time, I need to persevere.

"Be yourself" is the worst advice you can give to some people.

This blog is more than a story about how I look at things in different perspectives.

2009-08-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

2009-08-16T19:40:00.000-07:00

It’s amazing, really, just how much pain the human heart can take.

2009-08-16T19:39:00.001-07:00

“You were like a one night stand. Short and sweet. But when I wake up.. you’re gone. And I’m left with the memories of your kiss. I should have known it would end this way. It’s like friends with benefits. Someone’s always going to feel more for the other. And just like a one night stand, we’re all in the past.”

2009-08-05T08:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I let myself get stupid about everything. Perhaps, It's the matter of learning and experiences that will eventually awaken us up..

NAHH, it's 11.30pm

goodnight, lovies.

2009-08-01T20:40:00.000-07:00

So, I decided not to attend school tmr. I'm really this sick girl since last night. sigh*

HAPPPPYYY MERRRYY 16th BIRTHDAY TO MY ASERO:D

I Love You.

2009-07-31T23:38:00.000-07:00

Missing someone isn’t about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you’ve talked. It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.

2009-07-31T22:59:00.000-07:00

Last night, 31.07.09, I had lots of wild moments with the aCapella despite their hard competition, I salute them for giving their best. I know all of them were shivering 'cuz most of our competitors were just beginners. But, hey guys, I love all of you and you still did great, okay? So, don't fret anymore and look ahead for your performance at Esplanade later night. Hihihi. Sorry, lovies, I won't be there to support this time round 'cuz I gotta pay for the entrance fee and that's gonna make me broke. I'm already broke for so many reasons uh. Eeh, shame, shame.:PP Advance Happy BEERday to Asero on 3rd August:) You're finally going 16. So, be responsible. Aye? OMG, I'm having runny nose;flu and soar throat but I can assure you, this is not what you think it is. It's not H1N1, oi. For heaven sake. It's just I got engaged with chocolates;milky bars and M&M's and ice cream cuz I couldn't avoid rummaging the refrigerator for comfort foods. Plus, I drank a lot of soda. It sucks man! It's painful, otttaay. Okay uh, I better have brunch now and sleep.

~xoxo. MWwwwAH!

Han.

2009-07-31T22:55:00.000-07:00

Last night with the Phenomenon Tuners.

2009-07-29T20:02:00.000-07:00

30.08.07
Planning for the 3rd August or later. Advance happy 16th. I'll be broke if it's like this every year.
We really can't set up much elegant. But it comes from our heart.

I Met Josh In Much Clearer Way. whispers*

2009-07-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

You guys should know who's Josh:) Whenever, I look at his picture over and over again it makes me dissolve. I know he's been long gone. Love comes around, just like that! Is it time to blossom it up again? Well, I know I haven't moved on from my past break up, but, I think I really have rights to be happy now. I shall not keep the mementos with my last ex 'cuz I don't think he deserves to be remembered. There were too many unpleasant memories. There were many things I've tried to let him know that I'm important. Everyday, I talk through all about him with my different group of friends. I wanted to know their own perspectives too. Most of the time, I just don't want to know that he's somewhere near me. Çuz if I'm aware of his presence close to me, I might just wanna slap his face. There were much deeper and intense relationship we had, and thats what really made me hate him even more. I'd been with him for almost 2 years on August. I know I suck up at everything but at least I try hard to make everything worthwhile. Who do he think he is, eh? He's so egoistic. He couldn't put aside his ego for me. Just like how I always do. He lied and broken many promises to me too. He made me like a fool. He was a traitor and I just can't imagine him more than that. He has nothing to be proud of; No inside and no out. I hated him and still hating him. I thought he was everything. For 5 days, tears was my only companion. With the help of my friends and Josh, I'm slowly picking up myself from the ground where my ex left me. It's time to start and think a new. I shed my very last tears last night though things still saddens me. But, that's okay, I have to keep going cuz I've got other important priorities than him. There are many who expects me to be stronger than this çuz I was the only one who give them hope too. And that's what you do when your goals and dreams are much more important than fears. I really thank my best friends and real friends who were always there for my worst of nightmares. It feel so damn good to be moving on slowly, swiftly though painfully. I'm leaving the old me alone. I won't let anyone step on me anymore. But, I'm open to meeting new people. The sincere ones and not the people who betrays.

Whilst the other side of my life, I'm so glad that the approval for my whole family for PR in US was finally approved. That means we could shift there anytime and It might happen soon if things don't go well.:) And that means, I'm able to see my cousins and bunch of aunties and uncles in my mum side. Really can't wait to explore America. Thanks to my grandmum and my relatives in my mum side for helping us trhoughout the transactions. If that's what you call it. Eheheh. So, that means there's better opportunities for me. So, it's time to really move on.:)

Loves,
Han.

2009-07-26T19:12:00.000-07:00

2009-07-24T02:12:00.000-07:00

HIHIHI. Fitri, surprise! Or I mean probably this may result in tender shock. EHEHEHE. SO VERY SORRY, JOESLYN, MY LADY. I couldn't upload the picture with you. Something's wrong, I suppose? Thanks PIQA for taking the pics.:D MUA!

2009-07-24T01:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think that if I didn't love you life would be so much easier.

2009-07-24T01:38:00.000-07:00

I wish I was really sick so you can visit me and notice me... i miss you.

So I’m going out there. And I’m going to do the best I can. People are going to get in my way. Things are going to bring me down. But I’m going to keep going. I’m going to reach as far as I can, for every thing I’ve ever wanted. And I’m not giving up. Because that’s what you do when your dreams are more important than your fears. You go out there and ignore the odds. You focus on one thing- that your dreams come true.

2009-06-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

Merry 22nd monthsarry yesterday, theart.:D

Adios.

2009-06-30T20:18:00.000-07:00

Don't PUSH my limits. My tolerance has limitations. Learn it, Live with it, Love it. I can laugh, I can joke with but never dare to disrespect me. I'dislike it. A lot. Don't ever manipulate me, cuz you know I'm very sensitive at certain subjects and issues. I'm not the best at handling things, even my _?_ who I were close with were never at the same page as me. For now, I would appreciate people if you would let me cool off.

PS; Dearest lovies, Don't message me questioning regarding about this kind of issues. I'm upset and my dear friends, you should know that and let's not get into this subject any deeper. Many thanks for the concern you were all showing. I just totally super not into rude people. Well, who does? Right?

Always,
H-anii.

2009-06-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

Skinny bitches has been my inspiration. Yea.

2009-06-27T02:35:00.000-07:00

Belated happy beerday, Mudpie, Cha. So very sorry for the very late wish. I totally forgot about it. sob* Okay, but you could have all the chocolate and strawberry cakes in the world na. Pasenxa na talaga ah. Lub pa rin naman kita e.:D Lub u ubber. subra. Ubber mahal na mahal kita, gaga. Even sometimes na we have misunderstandings. You should know naman by now na best alien-mate kita, loka! Basta belated happy 17 years young. Fuck it, invite me on your upcoming debut next year ha. FML. Kiss kiss*

Foh Fir:
I told you We can take a break.
I'm secure in your love for me.
You tell me almost single day, and dude, I believe it!

I will be positive in all aspects of life. What I am tomorrow is determined by what I do/choose today. I believe that I can excel in my life. There is NO limit to my best, I can only be better.

FRENCH MATES!. Je suis, Anii. Et toi? giggles*

2009-06-26T02:54:00.000-07:00

Guess where's Ellonah and Angel hanging out now? Loves, ohhh. Oy, Hahaha, bad asses. Hey, Ellonah baby, I'm sorry for the very last time you invited me out. I was busy with something else. But, whenever I call your house number, your maid locks you up and shuts me up saying "she's not around". Rofl. Shit happens, maybe. Damn guys. We're sooo missing you. Just partying, eh? Underage, wot?? Oh, yea, I could clearly remember how you randomly lie about your age, Ell! hahaha. Genious!

"It's okay. Look at the bright side."

2009-06-26T01:52:00.000-07:00

Marniah beb, thanks so much. I will smile in the darkest days, I promise. Romney, forever eh? Last long. 3 years?.. Hm. Babe, sure it's time to mug in for our O's together, with Mariel. :)) French and German mates forever. IMY, all.

He kept moving away, pushing me away. You trying to ruin what we had for almost 2 years? If I assumed, you should prove me that there's nothing to be scared. That there's nothing I should be worrying. But, its like you make it worst. You bashed me up with your harshness. You were rude, you were mean. You left me clueless and empty yesterday. With your behaviour, what do you think I'm thinking now? I'm not a puching bag you can hurt and play with anytime. I was just tring to say, PUT YOUR LIMITS. What the effing devil was wrong with that? You're annoyed I said that? Shallow ass.

There was no point in stopping him. If he wanted to leave, and i stopped him from leaving and he stayed, there would always be some part of me that would be wondering, "does he still love me?" Since he seems not interested, and seems he doesnt include me anymore in his life. I'll show him that he isn't my everything too. You may start thinking its hard when you have yet to start, Anii. There's so much more to see. No, they are not everything. Girls, We can flirt glare at guys, wink at them and snatch their attention. But for now, I should vent my hatred, anger and frustrations with my studies. Cry but promise yourself this will be the last..

Off,
Han.

2009-06-21T23:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I was just practically going through about Chefs and foods, and yes, i saw this article about Filipino-American cook of Obama in White House..

"George W. Bush jokingly told President Macapagal-Arroyo that relations between the Philippines and the US had become even better with a Filipino-American cook in the White House."

I'm looking forward on seeing you, dearest sweetiepai, Marcia!:DD

And, Hello, Emerson. Welcome back!

TELL ME, Scarlett.

2009-06-21T05:10:00.000-07:00

Isn't it a big turn off when you see such a pretty face, thinkin' she's so amazing, gorgeous and all that, but only noticing a little later that she's full of scars or maybe ex-wounds(hoho) and black marks on her legs.. just like ahemm*? Nope, I'm not being mean. I'm just questioning the questions that I'm most aware of. That I've been noticing almost everyday during weekdays in school. Isn't it funny when you're praying so much to gain weight while your friends are wishing almost everyday to lose their baggages? Lol. Dear God, If you can't make me fat, make my friends thin. Lmfao. One more thing, Isn't it annoying when people you were never been close talks to you as if you've known each other for ages? Isn't all of these are nothing but deadly facts?

Well, more about myself. I've been studying. Doing my Bio and P.Geog notes. Still struggling with my f--kin' Maths. I've been into reading so much lately. Done with Samantha James. And will be starting with the book entitled Obsession by who uh? I let down 6 different group of my friends. Sorry, guys. I'm mugging in, remember? As soon as O level is done, I promise, I truly do that we will reunite again. Kay? Keanu, you better save your cash for the chalet you were talking about. Hahaha. Sorry, Norms, I was out ytd. Really sorry! To My Baby Emaryell, Maaa, you know. You know. Haha. and I miss my girlfriends forever!:( Thankfully, there's this gadget called cellphone and there's this thing you called texting. so even if sched's really busy and tight. There's still time to re-connect. I know, I did a lot of texting tonight. Mariel, Keanu, Marcia, Fitri, Deanna and Theart. I love you, guys.

MOST.MOST.

2009-06-15T23:13:00.000-07:00

Top 6 most stunning woman, I've met.
1. Joyin.
2.Andreyana.
3.Denise.
4.Char.
5.Kyla.
6.Micah.

Top 6 most adorable ladies, I've met.
1.Kerensa.
2.Mariel.
3.Abien.
4.Deanna.
5.Sheena.
6.Aqirah.

Top 6 BFF.
1.Mariel.
2.Fitri.
3.Micah.
4.Rizal.
5.Kristelle.
6.Yuanli.

and many more, like Pikah, Joes, Abien,Charmaine,Joyin,Kerensa..:) ILY,ILY all.

Top. 3 hobbies.
1.singing.
2.writing.
3.reading novels.

Current song, I'm in love.
The climb-miley cyrus.

Sorry, I'm so random.

2009-06-15T22:52:00.000-07:00

Goodafternoon, ladies and gentleman! Today's weird. I dreamt of Huda, an ex fajarian. T'was creepy, we were highschool friends. Lmfao. Won't elaborate much. Perhaps, it's my dream. Well, happy people, I hope you people have the most glorious day of your life today. Even if I doubt I will. looks down*

I'll be staying in my aunt house from today onwards as I'm having a hard time studying in my own house. Den, perhaps? Nah, that's for tigers. lions? Hard time studying 'cuz of my loud, boisterous siblings. Heeeee. Sweet, Jesus. I'm gonna mug in, I promise! I've got 4 burning months left. Shit.

And, I doubt if I could post every now and then. smirks*
Theart, ILYMore.

Han.

2009-06-14T21:33:00.000-07:00

Bitch you. I hate you, whore. Whore. Done breakfast at Mac. Shheesh. Rather spend my time reading book(s). I've been involved with horror-ish sorts of stuffs lately. Couldn't sleep last night. Geeez. Kay, hush, bye.

Han.

Brightens up every lonely days..

2009-06-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

Missed!!<33

2009-06-14T05:17:00.000-07:00

I had unexpectedly unpleasant day this very day. looks down* It's not that I don't trust him. I just completely don't trust her, you see. Twice in my life I had made him cry, if I clearly remember. I always have this unexpected surge of jealousy, you know. You may think that we're fine but, nope. Merely. I truly wonder if we ever stop needing the people we love?..

Get to watch Drag Me To Hell at Jurong Point. It was creepy and noisy. Yea, noisy and loud, perhaps? Umm, whatever it might be. But, I still think it's cool. Right, theart?

Well, I completed the book by Julia Quinn-Everything and the moon before the due date tomorrow. YES!! Hee. Um, I'm currently reading Samantha James-A perfect Bride. It brings me back to 1960-ish. I speak as if I had a chance to live during 60's. HAHAHA! It's a love story about lords and nobles and vicar's daughter, once again. Dang. Fitri thought the book by Julia Quinn was a sex book 'cuz she only had the opportunity to read that very part. Rofl! That babe, uh.

MARIEL, I love you. Thanks truckloads, eh!?:DD

2009-06-11T05:51:00.001-07:00

Whom I misses most is my cousin, sister, bestfriend, Petal:(

It was indisputably love at first sight. But
Victoria Lyndon was a vicar's daughter
and Robert Kemble was a dashing young
earl-- and their fathers were determined to
keep them apart. Seven years after their
plans to elope went hopelessly awry,
Victoria and Robert meet again -- and this
time they discover that love is often
sweeter the second time around.

Everything and the Moon

Shit happens.

2009-06-11T03:07:00.000-07:00

Yea, Mary God. I couldn't find my other simcard. Uh-oh. I just misplaced it. Holy cow! I'm on the verge of cursing myself to whatsoever and I've been finding it on places that were most unlikely to be there. Jerk, huh?

Well, as you know. I had a holiday at KL. Wasn't precisely KL since we were still one hour by journey far from KL. Lmfao. T'was at Port Dickson, ceartainly. Just spent 3 days and 2 nights. I really had great time in pool and nowhere else. I loved the food. But, it wasn't any far different from Singaporeans food. So, not exotic and amusing. Hehehe. Well, cuz of that, I missed my holiday classes. I was like "Booohyeah! Wooohooo!" Dang. Like a whore that has been possesed. Yayks! During those trips.. I just searched for somethings to entertain my own self. Heaven knows how deserted and lonely was Port Dickson. There were no open huge shoppin' malls. Couldn't get enough of it.:( Twasn't even enough. If only.. Well, just played some weird and freaky games with my lil' cuzies and sis. And since I love kids. I did snatched my youngest cousin from her nanny. Most of the time, I found myself doing silly lil' games just to make her laugh. Cute. Rofl. Well, you wanna know my most embarassing moment? Yea, my stupid voice was creaking. I was having a soar throat when I sang during Karaoke sessions. Goddamn, I swear, I couldn't reach the high notes moderately. I surely sounded like a singing pig! Oinkoink^^ But, I was lucky enough that out of 3 songs i sang, I still managed to sing Heaven Knows superbly. Claps* Just, shut up, han, yo! Oohp, and I felt like a superstar in M'sia. Some random lads were tryin to get my contact or whatsoever. Just ignored the hell out of them. Ooow. Hee. Duhh, I'm so so so random. I'll post P.Dickson's litratos(pics.) soon. Kay?

Today, Pikah didn't attend school and I was so so happy. But, I did miss her. I was just happy by the fact that I ain't have to rush reading the book 'JULIA QUINN-Everything and the Moon' because I didn't have to worry and return it to her by TODAY. Yea. Lovely, huh? I'm the kind of person who re-read the meaningful lines all over and over again. One of my fave lines was "I only laid my eyes on you ten minutes ago, but my heart has known you all my life. And my soul even longer." Sweetest thing ever, right? I'm that logistic. I probably interpret things differently from what you said and meant.:P:P Be well, Pikah. I truly misses you! Loves you always and forever.:D

I got this thing that I always recieved text messages from unknown people. I always have this question "You are dhuranii..ryt?" or "U dhuraini?" or sometimes, I got messgaes saying they misses me. God, do I even have a clue who they are? and if I replied back and asked who the devil are they. They won't tell. I really get fed up and anxious by these people. I got the latest message from a dude named Joe. He said he got my number from a dude named David whom I didn't even have any idea who. ROFL! Pisses me, sometimes. >:S

Oh, FITRI love and DEANNA baby and MARIEL mare, I'll reply you back lovelies tomorrow. Can?:))

Han.

2009-06-05T06:24:00.001-07:00

2009-06-05T03:29:00.000-07:00

Hello human natures.:) I guess I have to congratulate myself for reconciling with my arch enemy.:D It surprised me when she approached me first. smiles* Now, I have rough idea how life goes..

Well, today, I was kinda pissed with my mad advisor. EEEEEH! smirks* I had remedial lesson today, of course. I was lectured by this teacher as I ain't not really doin' well in his subject. Physics. murmured* I started my day well and there he goes again, tryin' to ruin it. Ruined, actually. Fortunately, during History. I had great fun with friends, especially Fitri. That babe consist half of my soul. Lmfao.But, of course, I love History. It's my most powerful subject. After school I slacked around with theart. Well, It always goes that way.

Be well, Baby Mariel:(. Take Good Care of yourself. I miss you.. Thank you for all. Danial, oy, be sure she's fine. laughs*

Theart, cut down with your calories. Jokin*

Truthfully, I'm extremely lazy to post now. Rofl! Well, back to Iiqahh and I. We smoothly talked last night. I wish she's bein' real last night or otherwise, y' know. But, she sounded really sincere. I mean, I've got no problem with her. It's just that.. the way she talked to me before was rude and I hated that. I'm the type of person who fights back. I used to argue with guys a lot. Lmfao. I guess, I'm still influenced with the kind of friends I used to spend most of my life with and I'm just MISSING THEM so so much! Sadly, They're stayin' in Canada now. But on my 18th birthday, we'll be meeting again.Reunion and my debut, oy!. Okay, about Iiqahh.. we agreed that we should already totally cut off all those childishness.

2009-06-04T07:41:00.001-07:00

“Why is it people who want the truth never believe it when they hear it?”

“You can’t love someone for what they stand for or seem to be. You have to love them for their details, for the little things that are true of them and only them.”

Mad Love..

2009-06-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

Theart and I were quarelling badly these few days. Thanks to a lady named JULIA. Thanks uh. Plus, I'm currently havin' crazy moodswings as I'm having beep. I'm lucky enough that he's patient and we truly are in love or else this relationship will be gone cold turkey long time ago.. Ubbber thank you to Dear Lord for lending him to me and I hope he won't take him back from me even if I'm getting a little careless and rough towards him. Would you please help me arrange this gettin' messed up relationship, Lord? I know you gave my friends to help me. But, you're the only one who could truly understand my complicated feelings. I love him and I don't wanna lose him now. Give me courage, ppplease?

To theart; I know I've questioned you a lot about commitment but I can feel you that you're hurt too. Whenever, I kept sayin' "let's cut off this commitment crap now". I can feel you. I can.. I'm sorry if I told you to quit on her. But, I really think you should. We both should sacrifice equally for this r'ship to work out. I did what you said. I did as you told. I gave up them for you. You. Do you hear me? We're so much more..important. I bought you something that you can use for school. hugs*

All your life you've waited for love to come and stay and now that I have found you, you must not slip away.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Han: He flirts innocently so he aint gulty.
?: Maybe, he flirted but with no intentions to be with her, or any wrong intention.

*GOODLUCK to ZAL for S'pore Idol Audition. All the best, man!:)

Great Singapore Sale.

2009-06-01T17:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the greatest to the maximum shopping day of my life at Vivo and Harbour Centre. Ha ha. I just didn't bought a thing or two. I bought gorgeous dresses and etc. I bought 2 beautiful short dresses for 39 bucks which originally cost 89. I had 2 polo shirts from levi's, each cost 25.90 for sale. It's already sale, huh. I had 3 bra's from La Senza for 3 for 60.50, which originally cost 35 bucks each. LOL. I bought a leggings worth of 19 bucks. A small handbag from m/phosis that cost me for 10 bucks and originally cost 17 and a tiny coin purse for 5 bucks which originally cost 9.90. I had a jeans which cost 29 bucks for sale. I bought two pairs of sandals, one cost me 19.90 and the other cost me for 15 bucks. Lmfaooooo.

And today, I went for breakfast at Mac with theart before going to school. I was really excited seeing theart again after a long weekend. He gave me a gift. Rofl. A red sweatshirt. It's really beautiful. Besides, red is my favourite colour.:)

Okay, I'll update more soon. Can't wait to go at KL.♥

2009-05-31T06:31:00.001-07:00

Okay. let me give you some explanation what's happening with my blog. I'm encountering problems. Please bare with me. Ha ha! lyyy. And I'll update and link soon. Kay? I'm so so so sorry for the inconvinience.

Loves, Han.

Holiday.

2009-05-30T23:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, I'm going for shopping. New dress. New stuff. I needed to distress myself badly. I'm going holiday with my family and relatives at Port Dickson, KL by plane. Shit. My last plane ride was 4 years ago, dude. I'm so glaaaad! I miss the food! Okay, I just came back from swimming. I guess I got tanned again. Phyr likes my tan skin, whenever I come back from swimming every Sunday. Lol. It's a routine.

Oh, & by the way.. SINGAPORE IDOL AUDITIONS:)

Singapore Idol™ AuditionsWhen: Saturday, 6th June 09Where: The Cathay (2 Handy Road - opposite Dhoby Ghaut MRT)What Time: 8a.m. (Be early so that you get to the auditions faster!)

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You must be in line by 8a.m. at the Audition Venue. Registration for the Auditions closes at 6p.m.
You must register online, then print out the online application form and bring the signed application form (photo included) with you on the day of Registration -- 6 June to the Registration Venue. You must also bring your letter of Confirmation with your reference number on it.
You MUST bring along a piece of ID that includes a Recent photo. The information provided in the Application Form should correspond with the information provided in the ID. For Singapore citizens please bring along your NRIC. For non-Singapore citizens (including Singapore PR), please bring along your passport.
Auditions are NOT by appointment, you must come by 8a.m and join the Official Queue.
Auditions will be first-come, first-seen. It is up to you to decide when to arrive at the auditions. Please anticipate long queues
Please remember that the audition process may take up to several hours, so please plan accordingly. Do ensure that you have a hearty breakfast before queuing at the venue, and come prepared for an audition process lasting several hours.
If you are under 21 years of age as of the date of registration, please ensure that you bring along a letter of approval from a parent or guardian with their signatures. You are allowed to bring a parent or guardian with you, but they will only be allowed into the Reception & Registration Areas, depending on the day's turnout.
For those over 21, guests will be permitted based on the day's turnout. No guests - family or friends-are allowed into the audition room with you.
PLEASE COME DRESSED TO IMPRESS, but remember NOT to wear clothes with visible logos, trademarks or offensive language.
Be prepared to sing two songs of your choice a cappella (without music), one of which must be in English. You will be required to sing a verse and a chorus, but it is good to know the entire song. You must provide the titles of the songs, and the original artistes (singers) to the person judging your performance.

And so, I'm planning to sing Tell Mary by Meg and Dia and Foolish Heart by filipino singer, Nina.

30th.

2009-05-29T21:04:00.000-07:00

I was so not myself yesterday. It wasn't hani. It was somebody else in me. Without the help of Fitri, Micah and Normil. I'm dead by now. So, I thank you, lovies. I suffered in boredom and frustration and depression last night. It was tough. Some kind of evil in you, sort of. Carmen lent me her MARKED book. Thank you, love. I tried started reading it yesterday,but, guess what? Like I didn't understand a single sentence at all. It was like reading roman letters. Lol, I didn't know anxiety and depression could kill you slowly and indirectly. Ha ha! But, I'm definitly fine now. No more swearing and emptiness. Fit and Norms, lovely people. sorry, I didn't reply your last message. I fell asleep. yea. Happy Saturday to you, who's curently reading my blog.:)

HAPPY 1.9 monthsarry, theart.:)

*friends who are not linked yet. sorry, will link you guys very soon. Esp, My Mariel baby, Deanna, Normil and Ken. Loveyouverymuch.

Tell Mary.

2009-05-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

After the first touch. Her skirt boring. Her voice deep and charming at first. You could make her come back once in a while. If you painted a fresco. There she'd be with her powder half falling off. So perfect from far. Meet me at the pictures Mary. Adam said that he was leaving. Meet me. Meet Me.

Reality.

2009-05-28T20:00:00.000-07:00

I did badly for all my subjects. But, what else can I do? It's done, it's over and it's time to move on. I studied, but, I still failed. Maybe, it's not enough. But, whenever I needed some help. I just didn't know whom and where to turn to. I've got no support from anyone. Except for my friends. But, how far can your friends motivate you? I need a genuine and a real help from stupid racist teachers in Fajar Secondary School. And not some discouragement, humilation and favouritism talks that they brag about in class always. *Lousy teachers produces lousy students. Especially, my advisor. He's no help. He just literally asks me question about how I was doing with my Maths. And, that was it. He's done with his job.

I wanted to meet Mr. Kanan and tell him about my progress. I knew he was the only one who was able to help me. Not even my parents can help me with this. When I was crying silently in the canteen due to my poor result. All the people who knew me, turned their heads on me. Some, were real concern. I was surrounded by the most special people in my life. My girlfriends. It was really embarassing. I ignored some of my schoolmates concern by not replying to them. I'm sincerely sorry. I was speechless and shocked with my poor grades. I know that I should look forward for my O' level instead fussing and holding grudges about this. My friends and classmates and fellow schoolmates are really lucky to have their MT. It helps them so much to get a good solid L1R4. Nope, I don't regret dropping my French. It's tougher. You guys were learning your own language and hearing it since birth. What about me? I don't think French would help me. I wasn't a french woman. I didn't live in France. I didn't have a french boyfriend. What I was studying during French classes and twice a week tuition for French is not enough for me to get it done during O' level. Plus, I just started learning it when I was 14. So, don't ever dare to question me about it. And, don't ever look down on me. Pity and mercy.

I hate my dad's country. People are bias.

Han.

A bloody guy aka Nappieboy.

2009-05-28T08:18:00.000-07:00

I'm sad today and tomorrow and it seems like everyday. I've got temporary happiness I'm regaining everytime I see my girlfriends, but that's it. Even my personal rship is doing me havoc. I just want to breakdown and cry.

There'll always be those kind of people, who loves nothing but to see you miserable and broken.

It is just so rude to be talking about someone else's virginty. Right? and that retarded couple who were trying to ruin my name are actually doing that to me. I am not a slut. I learn with Christian beliefs that there's no sex before marriage. Well, he aka Nappieboy posted it on that Atiqah's tagboard blabbing about my hymen being broken and bloody. Fuck you. You're a hundred fifty degree pervert. If his really that brave, why don't he expose his full name? I'm gonna find out soon.

PS: Sorry, about being too open-minded. I'm pissed.

NIGHT.

2009-05-27T21:38:00.000-07:00

It's been 3 days and still pissed with Atiqah 'cuz she's been screwing up my life, constantly. And I'm not the type of person who handle her emotions and anger very well. So, I have to confront that immature. She's really hundred degree annoying 'cuz firstly, she's acting as if she did nothing wrong to me. I mean, I truly know that she's selfish and immature but I don't understand myself either. Why can't I just be patient enough to tolerate her? Instead, I still choose to ride along with her joke-kind-of-life. It's really childish and funny the way she hold grudges about the mum of my theart's cellphone number. Why is she possessively so proud having it? LOL. Okay, fine. If she didn't give it, when I urgently need it. That was totally fine. But, she started posting about it on her blog. I truly bet that she needs a special attention. Could you believe it, she serves this issue as a piece of entertainment. What's worst, she make it exaggerated. She added up some stories here and there. I bet that's her ideal fairytale. Maybe, she's mad 'cuz I'm being honest? I mean, So what if I said she's plum? She's really A PLUM LADY. Why does she takes it soooo deep? I mean, I'm skinny. Call me, thin. Why would I wanna care so much? I'd rather reply "Yeah, I need to gain more wait". I'm the type of person who says what she sees and feels. As what I said I'm not good at being two-faced. You know, fake. A plastic. Maybe, she's really a spoilt brat 'cuz she is the only child. Maybe.. Just maybe, that's her reason for her being cry-baby and having truckloads of people dislinking her.

Yeah, I feel relieved now. I don't really get tired talking. {laughs}
Kay, bye.

Loves, Han.

Anything but Ordinary.

2009-05-26T04:58:00.000-07:00

I didn't went to school today due to the MT Mock exams. I mean, I must actually attend school. Today, I wasted most of my day. I woke up late, I ate a lot, I went to surf the net and came to check my tumblr, then, I played psp, I text a lot, I went back to surf again and chatted with Suriah and Ninie. Then, tumblr and I should thank Suriah for this pretty blog skin. :) MUA! I thought when I woke up this morning, I would revise and study my work and projects. But, I didn't. I kept procrastinating. Tomorrow, would always be a better day to study. Again. Over and over again. I would tell myself. I just feel like banging my head using a pillow. Lol. Pillow?!?Yea, pillow. So as not to hurt myself. Rofl.

Well, about my mid year results. My grades really flopped. I failed with my history and social studies too, which I've been passing constantly with flying colours ever since sec. 2. And, my result in Pure Geography, (which I always pass since sec.3) honestly speaking, I studied hard with it, but, I still failed by few marks. It's really that bad, okay. :( As usual, Maths and Physics will be the same. Nothing changes. Thankfully, I passed F&N and English. That's it.:( Because of frustrations, I had to text Marcia and Mariel. I had to relieve my disappointment. Or else, I'll vent my anger to this particular creature that has been irritating me over a long period of time. You already have a clue, who you are.

I really hate it when I'm wasting my time and I'm not even doing anything about it. sighs*

2009-04-02T05:54:00.000-07:00

Ugh, I totally wanna scream now and stab a punch bag instead of punching it. Like, come on. My life has been in too much pains this past few weeks.

Dear Lord,

Please make me a stronger lady everyday. Please help me fight demons each and everyday.

Amen.

I ain't alone. I always remind myself. I've got loads of good friends. But, realising that life is not all about that. There are those more important things. Those things that should be more prioritise. Put your heart in place, I kept reminding myself. I know I am contented but I am not happy with what's pathetically going on with my simple life. It'sfar less than fantasy.

Homecoming.

2009-03-28T07:31:00.000-07:00

Well, supposedly my very first post here, huh. Yeah, it sucked today, but, somehow I was feeling a little great about certain things. Things like, I don't need to worry about my Maths because I've got my very dear fiend Rizaldy who is very willing to help me. Another, my best friend Miggy is coming over in Singapore for his summer vacation from the Philippines. Also, Fajarcappella's been doing super fantasic now, though it's ubelievable after what I've been through with them for almost 4 years. If my heart has a face, it could be smiling right now.